Dark Cartoons by Scott Hilburn is exactly what the world needs — if the world enjoys toe jokes, prehistoric Heimlichs, and intestines with real estate. This isn’t your average Sunday funny page; this is a wonderfully twisted trip through the mind of someone who clearly thinks too hard about everything — and we love him for it.
About the Artist: Scott Hilburn
Scott Hilburn is the mad genius behind The Argyle Sweater, a long-running single-panel comic syndicated by Andrews McMeel. With a style often compared to The Far Side, Hilburn crafts delightfully warped scenes rooted in pop culture, history, science, and everyday nonsense. His cartoons walk a tightrope between intellectual humor and dark absurdity. Whether it’s a dinosaur choking on dinner or Vincent Van Gogh being denied entry without a mask, Hilburn delivers punchlines with just enough sting to make you wince — and laugh.
#1 The Toe-Order Regular.
Ordering “the usual” at a fast-food chain has never been this disturbing. A giant anthropomorphic toe casually chats with the cashier, and it’s as unsettling as it is hilarious. Hilburn’s commitment to the grotesque makes this both creepy and brilliant.
#2 Destiny’s Guitar Pick.
Little James doesn’t get the triangle in music class — he gets the guitar. And in a twist of fate, he’s basically Jimi Hendrix in the making. It’s cute, but also darkly ironic how greatness sprouts from rejection.
#3 Dire Straits: Origins
Hilburn gives a satirical origin story to Mark Knopfler’s legendary lyric — “Money for Nothing.” At the welfare office, no less. And don’t miss the extra joke: baby chickens for free. Music history has never been this hilariously bleak.
#4 Van Gogh’s Mask Problem.
It’s pandemic protocol vs. art history in this cartoon. The bouncer at an immersive Van Gogh exhibit won’t let Vincent in because… well, he only has one ear. The absurdity is peak Hilburn.
#5 Monopoly Jail Logic.
Who knew “rolling doubles” could actually get you out of jail? In this Monopoly-meets-reality crossover, Mr. Moneybags strolls free while a police officer throws up his hands. It’s delightfully dark and nerdy.
#6 Myron’s Last Supper.
The T-Rex dinner party goes horribly wrong. Myron’s choking, and thanks to those tiny arms, no one can help. The pun-heavy “Myron’s Last Day” seals it — this is dino-humor at its darkest.
#7 Gym Jargon Gone Wild.
One machine is for humans, the other for a koala disguised as eucalyptus. “Elliptical” vs. “Eucalyptical” — this pun-derful twist feels like a hallucination at Planet Fitness.
#8 Purple Discounts.
Prince is shopping at a thrift store for “Purple Raiment” with a tear in the seam. He parties like it’s $19.99. What’s not to love? It’s both nostalgic and deliciously absurd.
#9 The Black Widow of the Grass.
Two grasshoppers gossip about a deadly female who’s clearly been on a… literal killing spree. This one’s equal parts true crime and nature doc, filtered through a cartoon lens.
#10 Boba Trouble Ahead.
Han Solo and Chewbacca are about to sip boba tea — and Han’s classic line, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” hits hilariously wrong. A geeky, caffeinated catastrophe awaits.
#11 Clowning Around.
A goldfish swims alone while the clownfish bowl is overrun with loudmouth jokers. The expression on the goldfish’s face is all of us when trapped at a party we regret attending.
#12 Feathered Peace Talks.
Two groups — bald men in tribal dress and angry birds — are mid-conflict. One side is ready for a truce. The peace talks feel suspiciously like the start of a new brawl. Feathers may fly.
#13 Peeking Duck Disaster.
A man complains about a menu typo: “Peeking” Duck. He’s quickly served a duck peering out from the dish. That’s the kind of horror you didn’t expect at Shanghai Palace.
#14 Gingerbread Man’s Enhancement.
Apparently, gumdrops are the prosthetics of the baked goods world. This gingerbread dude wants a body upgrade, and the doctor has… candy suggestions. Is it surgery? Is it dessert? We don’t want to know.
#15 Bread Bed Breakdown.
It’s 4 AM. The bread couple is exhausted. “What the focaccia?!” one yells. With puns baked in and a yeast-rising crisis underway, this one’s fresh out of the oven — and hilarious.
#16 Bug in Amber.
A prehistoric bug found in amber is actually a woman named Amber. The doctor tries antibiotics. Science jokes, name wordplay, and a side of cringe make this a perfect Hilburn cocktail.
#17 Repeating O-S-S.
Soldiers pick up morse code that just says “O-S-S” on repeat. They’re clueless. We’re not. This may be the cartoon equivalent of yelling into the void and being hilariously ignored.
#18 Colon Condo.
A literal colon becomes someone’s new apartment. With bagel crumbs, cozy lighting, and a phone call to a friend, this cartoon goes way deep — biologically and comedically.
#19 Prehistoric Speed Trap.
Fred Flintstone is pulled over for speeding. His excuse? “I have a walking boot!” The pun is so good you almost forget he’s literally running on stone wheels.
#20 Breakfast Cereal Confessions.
In what looks like a breakfast mascot AA meeting, the cuckoo bird confesses he’s no longer addicted to sugary cereal. But let’s be honest — he still looks twitchy.
Final Thoughts
Scott Hilburn’s Dark Cartoons are absurd, brilliant, and so offbeat they make perfect sense — in a weird, twisted, gut-busting way. Each comic pokes at the human condition (and often animal conditions) with puns, irony, and cartoonish charm.
Credit: All cartoons featured in this article are by Scott Hilburn, the talented creator of The Argyle Sweater.
📌 Official Website: GoComics – The Argyle Sweater
📘 Facebook: facebook.com/theargylesweater
📸 Instagram: [Not officially listed]
For more brilliantly twisted cartoons and daily doses of humor, head over to Boredcomics.com and laugh like nobody’s watching.
